June 2012
0 posts
Hold on to what you believe in the light, when the...
5/31/2012
The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. (Matthew 6:22 NKJV)
Stare at something for long enough and we will always start to notice imperfections. Hang around someone just enough weekends and you will start to pick up on their bad habits. Use something just enough times and you’ll start to realize all it can’t...
May 2012
15 posts
its my birthday this weekend
4 tags
Drunk on you - Luke Bryan
I have a really good...
amarillo sky
Most fears are supplemented by the dark. The ones hidden and the ones we try to hide. And it seems so safe you know? to leave certain things shielded from the light. To put them away in locked drawers and just protect them under the shadows of not-knowings and if-onlys and the incertainities of washed out wonderings. It’s the irony of haunting our own houses. Of trying to keep dead things alive,...
'when we owned the night....'
My awesome weekend in bullet points and phone pictures
Friday night shopping and convos
Portuguese classes saturday morning in downtown
Got home and ate take-out in bed
Took a tiny baby nap
Drove to West Palm Beach
Spent alittle too much $ in H&M
Watched Darius Rucker, Thompson Square and Lady Antebellum perform while i sat on a white blanket
Finished the night at Walmart buying...
'round here....
God has been really good to me. I was born and raised by the water, and had parents who didn’t think it was the answer to everything, but the answer to most things. Sick with the flu? Beach. Birthday parties-holiday weekends-income tax return-mango season celebrations? Beach. Saturday morning wanting to clean the house without any kid footprints all over? Pool.
(check out my bangs…....
licking envelopes
“But I will trust in You” - Psalm 55:23
It’s simple isn’t it? To say it. To read it. The thought of it. It’s all anyone ever wants. Trust. To be able to trust someone. To be trusted. It’s where we’re all trying to get to…
So this is my letter to you… you who I havent written to in a while… you who i have pages and pages and months and...
and it's hard to dance with a devil on your back..
If there is a way to be good again… If there is a way to quiet the fear of vulnerability and if there is a way to let honesty and truth cry out louder than the memories and scars we hide under piles of dirt and shaggy rugs. If there is a way to live outside ourselves, to bridge the thoughts with possibilities, to let love and kindness and goodness and the weight of patience sweep the city...
If you are faithful in the small things….
Faithful. Commited. Pure. In the small. In the everyday. In the things that dont yell out for your attention but sit like faded photographs in dusty frames. In what we call the process, because our fickle hearts have their knuckles to their teeth waiting. The details. The coffees and short songs and the way it rains and the sun wont relent. The...
April 2012
7 posts
im freeeeeeee
go where the peace is
There is this park by my job that for a few months, I’d drive to during lunch and eat at. It’s not a beautiful park… it’s actually pretty lame and tiny tiny… like there is 1 swing and 1 picnic table and the view is the traffic of US1. I actually never really got out of my car to eat because it’s that lame. However… I wasn’t the only car. Anytime...
You’re filled to the brim, I know. And you’re just waiting for something, anything, to push, to pull this overboard. A gust of wind. A bump in the table. An impatient hand. A thirsty lip. Anything to change. Anything to give.
So you pour. And you pour. And you close your eyes and you pour. Because it’s never enough. Because there is always more. Because they’ll look and...
Just like there aren’t many things for me that compare to the feeling of 34th and Collins and the freedom of a song and the peace of a prayer… there is nothing worse than knowing a friend is in pain and there isn’t a single thing you can do about it. Nothing. They say that its easier to walk someone through a road youve already crossed but the reality of it is that unstitching...
March 2012
10 posts
I wonder what you see when my pen is blotching words on blank sheets and when those words are nothing more than gathered leaves at the edge of a sidewalk. I wonder if you’d knew what I’d say. Or if you already knew right before my forearms fill with goosebumps that it wasn’t the chill of the night. Is my soul clear to you? Because sometimes I feel it yells and scratches and beats...
I can pick apart the pieces long enough to make new shapes and peel away the words deep enough to find its root but there are things I can’t dig away from. I can’t run away from my own heart. I am undone by love for this world, for every part of it. I am slowly unstitched at the seams for its needs and the desire to magnify everything wonderful and pure and real. I don’t know. Sometimes I feel it...
fun fun fun fun fun
So you waited. And you breathed. And you lived. And you waited.
And that job didn’t reply.
And that person never called.
And you couldn’t go.
And you couldn’t stay.
And they didn’t get better.
And it didn’t go away.
And it didn’t come.
And it hasn’t happened.
But you waited. And you’re tired.
Right?
But hope in the Lord. hope in the Lord....
Stars, hide your fires...
I just finished fully watching the Kony 2012 video… see what had happened was that last night i tried watching it but really, 30 minutes is a long time when you’re in your jammies dead tired.
But here’s what is weighing on my heart at 12:22am after reading some articles claiming that Invisible Children is a scam and all this bologna….
I think that the lesser part of...
I think that there is always a moment where we all come, or at least should come, to the point where we begin to take things as they are and not as we would like them to be. Where we stop making excuses and expectations and stop trading in dreams for uncertainties and just, little by little, take everything in our lives exactly for what it is. We let go and we hold on and we make decisions based...
February 2012
8 posts
There are nights I sit and stare at blank pages and trace the pen with every fingertip… and I wonder if the words will all slip to their place or collect in puddles at the palm of my hands. I wonder if I’ll just have to wait. That’s all too familiar, isn’t it? The letting go. We hear it the mornings our walk breaks the leaves that blanket our sidewalks on days when the season calls for something...
to you
I know you. Well enough to know about the way you need to sleep on the edge of the bed and how you need gathered curtains and open windows and coast lines to make you feel free. To let you breathe. Youre always on the edge. I know that you have lists of gifts you wish you could give and you love the sound of the city waking up and you crave the sand and the shore and the fragrance of the sea and...
1 tag
This is really dumb but a few weeks ago I entered a contest to win a signed copy of I Wrote This For You and I just happened to look at his twitter today and realized he mentioned my entry.
http://twitter.com/#!/IWroteThisForU/status/162553350473256960
I might barf. No big deal.
poison & wine
I remember the time I was an itsy bitsy little girl and I asked my mom about the sneakers that hung on the wires of traffic lights. I remember asking if someone had lost their shoes and if they somehow ended up there or if someone was playing a prank on someone else and just threw them up in hopes that they could laugh as they watched them try to bring them down. And I remember her telling me that...
I beg you, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the...
song in the car
I need you. Like the rain needs the clouds to hold it till its ready. To protect it till its time. And im inconsistent in my passions and I wonder if the things that are meant to be get rooted deep within so they run away with me. You always let me run. And im stubborn in my wantings that leave me scratching and trying and building my lighthouses attempting to guide all my own ships. You always...
January 2012
11 posts
a picture of you holding a picture of me, in the...
I haven’t been able to shake off the thought of Psalm 84 since last night. I grew up around this chapter. I know it by heart. I’ve read it. It’s been read to me. I’ve circled its word and highlighted its verses and I’ve built thoughts and pictures and stories around it. But I don’t know… last night it kinda just knocked on my door like an old friend and I’ve been thinking about it differently.
I...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZD_H5KfbaM&feature=related
Zac Brown Band covering Ray Lamontagne’s Jolene? Are the heavens opening wide? Was a baby just born? Why am I so happy? Newest obnoxious obsession until I end up hating the song? I think yes.
I havent felt or been myself the last few weeks. Ive been getting mad easily, losing my patience, critical….everything I dont ever want to be. I dont know. I cant stand myself lately. Ive been listening to chris browns “next to you” on repeat and how I managed to get toothpaste in my eye this morning is beyond me. Ive even been falling asleep before 12 which is ridiculously rare....
“You’re not like the others. I’ve seen a few; I know. When I talk, you look at...”
– Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451 (via light-essence)
carry this picture for luck
So on Monday I was doing what every other middle class American was up to… cleaning out my humble abode and throwing out/organizing a years worth of junk I’ve managed to collect. Put brand new white bed sheets, did all my laundry, yadiyadi. I even gathered a bag full of old clothes I want to get rid of (um, HELLO ex hoarder?!) and managed to finish in time to watch the game. BOOM.
...