When i was in the 6th grade I had this project for school where we had to put together pictures and paragraphs on how we envisioned our lives to be like 20 years from then. I remember walking into class and all my friends had lamborghinis and pictures of the kind of houses you’d see on MTV Cribs… with gold toilets and the whole shabang. I showed up with a cut out of a white jeep wrangler, a house on the beach with wood panels on the outside and a picture of the backstreet boys. All 5 of them because I wasn’t picky about which one I’d marry. I didn’t even know how to spell Lamborghini. My teacher looked at my paper and told me the whole point of the paper was to showcase our “big dreams”…. so pretty much my project was lame lol ..and i sat there wondering why big had to mean extravagant. i don’t know… the thing is i’ve always been very simple. i’ve always liked simple. i drove an ugly old car because it was paid off and it let me travel and save. i’ve never been to an expensive restaurant because like i once mentioned, i like to sit on one leg and those things are frowned upon when your paying 100$ for steak. i like my house to smell like laundry detergent. i like music written for your soul more than your epic dance moves. because i dont have any. i love crisp nights that end late with good conversations and silent laughs and full hearts. i love home cooked meals and semi home made desserts. and when i travel i love staying in peoples homes. and looking through their photo albums. and having breakfast with their family. and when i read i like it to be about love and happy endings. i want to fix people for a living. and i want to wake up in the morning and not make money but make hope. i dont know. sometimes i wish the things i liked were safe. sometimes i wish i could be one of those girls focused on their 5 year career plan and high heels and rooftop parties so i knew id be able to afford something bigger than a studio and weekend-deal trips. Because then i wouldn’t worry. Because then I’d be safe. But i’m not, and sometimes I wonder where this passion of mine will take me. I wonder if it will take care of me and the only hope I have is that if its in my little heart then it’s probably in Gods big one too.